"So, remember that in your process of walking out of the mind into the physical, you are not only living for you - but for all of existence, equal and one - from the water molecules, to the plants to the planets and stars in walking an opportunity where we can create and manifest a world, where, - when one IS born, the certainty of a life living to grow, and expand and develop is ABSOLUTE" - Sunette Spies
Friday, June 1, 2012
Day 40: Mania and Depression
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as bipolar.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself according to the definition of another person as me being bipolar.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to realize that the manic side of bipolar disorder is when I accept and allow myself to participate in the values of the mind which does not consider the practical physical reality and instead creates pictures and fantasies based on ideas and energy.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the energy of the manic episode which is participating in excitement and the belief that I am doing something important.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that when I feel really good about something that it must be important and to use this as a justification to continue to do things that only feel good and to ignore the practical physical points within my reality that require my attention although do not necessarily feel good when I do them.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that being bipolar is a part of being genius and to believe that my acceptance and allowance of participating within bipolar disorder is an indication of me being a genius when it only indicates that I am participating within the pattern of bipolar disorder and the desire to perceive myself as a genius.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to experience only that which makes me feel good to the extent that I would neglect the physical reality not only of my own environment but the physical reality that most beings face as the negatives of starvation and suffering that they are not able to avoid as they are physically limited within their reality due to the nature and structure of the money system.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that when I feel depressed that it is the consequence of participating within mania and positive energy and that the solution therefore is not to seek out the positive but to stop the participation within energy and therefore bipolar disorder.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that bipolar disorder is simply the participation within the energy of the mind taken to an extreme level of dishonesty where one refuses to recognize that they participate within the feelings of mania and excitement and positive energy and therefore are responsible for creating the negative feelings of depression when the positive energy runs out.
When I find that I am participating with the positive energy in the mind as a feeling of excitement towards a task - I stop, I breathe - I realize that by participating within the positive, I create the negative and therefore I do not allow myself to participate in either as I realize that this is simply playing a game in my mind of energy and when I do that I am not Here in the physical reality where everything that matters is and thus I am of no use within reality when I am participating in feelings of excitement.
When I find that I am feeling depressed and thus looking for a positive experience to bring me out of my depression - I stop and I breathe - i realize that the depression is a consequence of participating within the positive in the first place and thus seeking out the positive will only lead to more negative once the positive runs out again and thus I stop myself from participating within the polarity of positive and negative energy within my mind.
check out Paul's blog on this same topic and see how he is walking himself out of depression through self-foriveness